Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was a place where big social problems had solutions which could be conjured up by some random guy drinking his Saturday morning coffee? I admit, Mark Steel’s approach is very similar, although it seems to involve Friday night beers rather than morning coffee. Anyway, I’ve come up with a solution to the gun control problem in the USA, and I’d like to share it, because in these are the days of Hope and Change, and it doesn’t hurt to try.
So here goes. In order to solve the gun control problem in the USA and all the related issues of crime and violence, nothing more is required than a tiny piece of legislation: the US should put up a law that bans the manufacturing of any gun smaller than rifles.
That way, they circumvent all those stupid Second Amendment arguments. The right-wing nuts continue to hold on to their precious little phallic replacements and, as every piece of machinery has a limited lifespan, handguns and small machineguns (I’m thinking Uzis here) are effectively phased out as they break down.
Think of it: would gangsters and felons be able to walk around with military-style rifles? And if cops had to carry around rifles instead of small guns, wouldn’t it be more cumbersome for them to use, thus reducing mindless shootings? Not to mention that if indeed the cops were met with an actual, dangerous situation, they would have in their disposal far more accurate and bombastic guns than mere pistols.
And just as was the case in the movie Amazing Grace, you give a blow to a small, barely noticeable piece of the whole structure which in the long run, brings the structure to its knees.
So there you have it, the perfect solution.
(silly, isn’t it?)